Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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