I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
