I don't think brook has ever known best
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
