I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
