I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize