I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
