Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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