So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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