"it" just moved
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You ate ashes out of my bong
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
