it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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