Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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