Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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