She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
