Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
