He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
