So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he thought i was a dude.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
