There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
