I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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