would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
