Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
