Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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