I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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