i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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