I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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