the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
