is your mom at the bar?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my being single is dangerous.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Randomize
