Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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