he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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