I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
