Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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