You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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