why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
