I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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