When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
