It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
