omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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