just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
