I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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