go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
