Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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