I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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