There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
