Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
