id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
so much tequila, so little girl.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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