home. puking in laundry basket.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
