you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
