Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize