We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
