well he's currently spooning the coffee table
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
