Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
