I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
