Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
how does that bad decision feel?
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