Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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