I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
