terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize